Marcy Walker

- Surprise! She's a Good Girl at Heart!
- Why Marcy Walker Kept Her Wedding A

- Marcy Walker's Ecstatic: "I'm having a

- The Love Story of Santa Barbara's Cruz
  and Eden

- Marcy Walker Mother-To-Be
- How Soap Stars Raise Their Kids
- Marcy Walker: On marriage, motherhood,
  and those sizzling love scenes

- Marcy's Paris Diary
- SB Eden '91 Going Away Party
- Marcy Talking About A Martinez

- Cruz and Eden's Family Ties
- Can Santa Barbara Survive Without

- Out of the Garden of Eden
- GL's Marcy Walker "Love is the Answer"

- Introducing GL’s Marcy Walker
- Kiss and Tell
- Back to the Future
- Liza Woos Tad
- Dixie and Tad's Breakup

- Psychotic role shows WALKER's
  villainous side

- Torn Between Two Loves

- The Juggler
- Liza's Manhunt
- Mother Knows Best
- The Play's the Thing
- AMC Stars Put on the Dog
- More Marcy!
- AMC News Blurb
- Love Letters
- Liza's History
- Have Suitcase, Will Travel
- Marcy Walker: "I'm Really Blessed…"
- Meet Liza Colby Chandler
- Marcy Walker chooses faith over soaps
- The New York Times
- She's found her 'Guiding Light'
- From Soaps to Serving God

- Marcy’s most Memoral Christmas
- Marcy Walker: "I love 'playing' a baddie ...
  but wish people wouldn't hate me! I'm not
  like Liza at all!"

- The Best Days of her Life ... are now!
- "Healthstyles of the fit and famous"
- Marcy on Eden and Cruz, Eden’s Rape
  and Unforgettable Scene

- Getting Intimate with Santa Barbara's A
  Martinez and Marcy Walker

- Interview from Soap Opera Update
- Marcy Walker on Liza Colby
- The Beginning of an Actress
- Walker, Pine Valley Ranger
- AOL 1995 Chat
- AOL 1998 Chat
- Cameron Clicks
- My Mother, Myself
- Marcy Walker Interview with TV Guide
- Liza with a Zing
- Marcy Walker's Serpentine Journey
  Through Life Has Brought Her...Peace &

- Beat The Clock
- Walker on the Wild Side
- Character Profile – Liza Colby

- Look Who's In Love...
- Clean up your act!
- Video Vixen
- Moving Madness
- Liza Drops a Bomb
- Sounding Board
- Soap Violence
- What was the Best Present you ever
  gave at christmas?

- Guiding Light
- Runner-Up: Marcy Walker as Liza Colby
- Surprise Twist
- Leaders among Leading Men
- Gown & Out in Santa Barbara
- Between Love And Hate
- My 2 Loves
- Rating The Soap Star Hairstyles
- Bye Bye Barbara
- Performer of the Week
- "ROUND UP What is your best or worst
  memory of going back to school?

- Hot Shot
- Will You Marry Me?
- Let's Do Brunch
- SOW names Marcy performer of the
  week for w/o Dec. 2

- Hit ... The ugly truth on AMC
- Performer of the Week
- Applause, Applause - Marcy Walker
  (Liza, All My Children)

- AMC Beauty falls for Younger Guy!
- A Mother's Nature
- Real Life Duos and where they are now
- Beauty Bar - Stars Reveal Their Biggest
  Beauty Blunders

- Hit...Liza's confession on AMC
- Star Talk
- Grand Tribute
- Kicking The Habit
- High and Lau
- Round Up: Which celebrity is most like a
  soap character, and why?

- Beauty Secrets: Personally Speaking
- Soap Talk: Question: Do you have a
  favorite household invention?

- A Big Break
- A Mother’s Love
- Love's First Blush Tad & Liza: All Fired

- Hello, Again
- Behind The Scenes at the SOD Awards
- ABC News Blurb
- Picky, Picky
- Best storyline on All My Children-Liza and
  Adam's Romance

- Fowl Play

Marcy Walker Interview with TV Guide

Let's not beat around the bush. What the hell is the problem with The Powers That Be [TPTB] at AMC? Why do they not want Tad and Liza together when the fans are screaming for it? At least a year and a half ago, I was told by ABC that focus groups -- God love 'em -- did not like Liza busting up Tad and Dixie. Do the suits still fear a Tad and Liza pairing will bring down the ratings?

First of all, I love working with Michael Knight. He's that safe place an actor always wishes for -- a partner you know will always hit back the ball, a partner who will always be colorful and fun and nurturing. I look back to the time they had us together after my return, and I remember that our ratings were actually much better than they are now. And the feedback that I got at the time was very positive. I really didn't think there was any big hurdle from the audience's standpoint -- there was no "Oh, look what you've done! You've gone and messed up this great love team!" Sure, the fans were divided. There were some who were really for Tad and Dixie and their love of a lifetime. But there were also a lot of people saying, "He's been with her too long. It's getting boring. Being with Liza lets him show his other colors."

And that kind of division is what a soap should want -- it's what makes good drama, good audience involvement, good arguments.

Yes, you'd think it's what you would want. And I don't really know why they deviated from that path. I've always had a high regard for writers. I like to give them credit that they know better than I do where the characters should go. They have the big tableau in mind, while I'm just thinking about Liza, or Tad and Liza. Anyway, long after they'd pulled us apart, I had a talk with Michael and I told him how much I missed working with him. I missed that dynamic. And I said, "Why don't we get to work together anymore? Why don't we even have a scene together?" And he said he had asked [TPTB] the same thing. Michael's more the kind of person who would get on the phone and actually talk to the executives about it. And he said the word that came back was that they thought we were "redundant," that it didn't work to put together two characters who were movers and shakers. So I don't know....

As far as I can tell, the audience seemed to enjoy watching us together. I think maybe they have their ideas about the character of Tad -- meaning the producers, the writers and the network -- and what he should be like. Because after they deviated from our storyline, I saw that he was becoming more the romantic guy, more the leading man. He wasn't keeping his manipulative side alive; he wasn't delighting in adversarial moments as much. Maybe they see him more as a comedic hero, somebody who would not love a character like Liza. I don't know the answers.

What has happened to Knight is a sterling example of the homogenization of daytime. Tad should be a cad -- that's the appeal.

But even when a character is deemed by the audience to have become a good person, that shouldn't necessarily mean that he becomes a righteous person. We look at Tad now as a good guy who's fought a lot of demons, but that doesn't mean he doesn't still have bad thoughts or that he doesn't still have the ability to hurt people. The other thing that flipped me out was that the audience loved Liza with Adam, too.

There was also a lot of interest in Liza and Jake.

I didn't even get a chance to get a feel for that one. Michael Lowry was fresh and new here, and we were still kind of getting our sea legs when I went to lunch with [ABC Daytime chief] Pat Fili. And she was, like, "Oh, no, no, no. We're not going to go on with that!" [She laughs.] And, indeed, within a week it was dissolved.

Did you feel it was working?

I felt there were times that it was definitely working.

It's so wild that you sparked with nobody on GL but you spark with everybody on AMC.

It all comes down to the writers, truly. It's all about what kind of gifts they want to give you. You need the material. At GL, I was never given anything to do. If I was in a scene, I was pouring a beer, you know? Or I was being a good friend -- I was listening to somebody else talk about their problems. There was a little something happening with Ron Raines, but there was no time invested in it. And you must invest time. Even at AMC with Jake, we were given two weeks of five scenes a day -- one-on-one -- before coming to Pine Valley, so that gave us time to get comfortable, get established, make some choices. GL was an odd situation in that I was playing a character that neither I nor they had a clue about. No one could explain her. And I was working with Robert Newman, who had a character -- Josh -- who was deeply rooted. Robert had been on for a very long time; he knew what his character would and wouldn't do. And there I am trying to figure out how Tangie fits in. And she never fit in.

Now that you've had some distance -- and a return to a successful character -- does that GL experience seem at all surreal?

Very. It feels like some missing page in a photo album. I know that time passed, but there's nothing to really show for it. When people ask, "What shows have you done?," I feel like not wanting to include GL as part of my acting repertoire because I didn't really do anything there. I got to meet some great people -- Jerry ver Dorn, Ron Raines, Maeve Kinkead, Peter Simon -- great actors and great people -- and it was really fun to get to know them, but I never really felt like I belonged. I never really felt that I fit in.

Well, it was just the damnedest thing to happen to a superstar -- yet you were calm and professional through it all. How did you manage that? Other stars of your caliber would have copped a "How dare you f--- with me?" attitude -- and rightly so. How did you get through it without tearing their heads off?

I shared a dressing room with Liz Keifer, who would sit and talk to me sometimes and say, "Well, you really must be pissed off. It's such a shame; it's such a waste." And I would listen to this from a variety of GL people from the get-go -- from day one I was hearing things like, "I don't understand what they're doing with you." From day one. But I decided on something early on: I thought, "Now, I could get very angry about this and point the finger, or I can try to figure out why I'm really here." I mean, there had to be something bigger than my just being brought in to be a disaster. There had to be a bigger gift than this. I tried to look at it as if the experience was not for naught -- that there was a reason. And I think as time went by that helped me -- I was able to look beyond what I wasn't given.

Well, what was the gift supposed to be?

I became a much better listener when I was there, which was something you hope for as an actor. And being on such a back burner required me to invest more, pay more attention, find something that was worthy in every single day. I would listen to other people's [directorial] notes and see how they would apply them.

Marcy, c'mon! You were a huge deal when you went to that show. You were a highly respected Emmy Award winner. You are one of the best listeners in the business. And one of the most giving actors. You didn't need to learn that lesson.

I didn't need the GL experience, let me tell ya that. Because it broke a lot of illusions that I still held dear in my heart. You come to believe in fantasies -- you believe people when they say that they like you, that they respect your work. You believe that people whom you once trusted would always stay the same -- and that's not the case. Life changes people, experience changes people. A lot of my illusions were cracked when I went through that experience. I didn't need to go there. And I look back on it and I say it was not a good experience, but I'm grateful that I was able to not see it as a tragedy. Listening to you say the things you're saying, I feel embarrassed or humble by how I approached it, but it was good that I was able to do that. Because otherwise it could have been just torture.

And things like that help you appreciate the good times.

I saw Nancy Grahn at the recent Emmys, and we both just stood there and looked at each other and went, "Miss it, don't you?" -- meaning Santa Barbara. We were on cloud nine with that show. And it's only through the experiences I had at GL that I can look at something now so far away as SB or even so close as AMC and go, "Thank you, God." Sometimes it takes experiences like that to bring you to your knees and make you go, "All right, maybe I wasn't as thankful as I should have been."

I still don't understand why you even came back to daytime to begin with. After SB -- even during it -- you had very encouraging success in prime time. Maybe Palace Guard wasn't a hit, but it was your own series. You did numerous pilots, many highly rated movies of the week, all in a very short period of time. There was every indication in the world that there was a healthy future for you in prime time -- the kind of indication other daytime refugees only dream of.

The whole nighttime thing reminded me that I do not enjoy auditioning. I enjoy acting. I've never been a fan of dressing up in a big black suit in 98-degree L.A. weather, going into a room and trying to strut my stuff for a director or producer by reading a scene with somebody's assistant who could care less about how they read the material. The whole experience rubbed me the wrong way. It's all about the process, not the work -- it's about what you look like, it's about going to the right cocktail parties. I don't enjoy it.

But, Marcy, the right job -- the one that could have led you out of all that auditioning hell -- might have been just around the corner! You might have wound up in The X-Files or something else spectacular. You even had a CBS development deal, right?

True, and there's nothing saying that all that's dead to me. I don't feel I've crossed over that bridge and then burned it behind me. I would love to do those other things. But at the time of my development deal, I remember looking at the list of CBS projects that were available to me and there was only one -- Nick's Game, with Richard Grieco -- that had a strong woman. And I remember the people at CBS saying to me, "If you don't take this one, there's nothing else." And I remember thinking, "I really hate being in this position: Do the part of the chick lawyer who chases after the cool guy -- or be paid off and do nothing at all." Well, I don't want to be paid off, I want to do the work. And I had it much easier than actresses without development deals -- it put me in the game without having to do a Riverdance to be seen. But there's nothing about a development deal that says the material is actually going to be any good.

If it was all so bad, why do you suggest prime time is still a possibility for you? If you couldn't handle it when you were young, why would you do it in your late 30s or your 40s or 50s? If you're happy just to be working, why not stay on AMC for the rest of your life and be Ruth Warrick? I even read in one of the soap magazines that you're moving from Connecticut into New York City to be closer to work.

That's not true. I want to move closer but not into the city -- it's an unfair thing to do to my son, Taylor, who has never experienced the city. There are a lot of kids who are born and raised that way and do fine, but Taylor has never been in that kind of environment. And, at 8 years old, I think he deserves better than to be shocked by a mother who becomes an eternal nag: "Don't point! Don't talk to that man! No, don't even look at him! Watch out for that cab! Watch out for that bus!" Raising him in the city, I'd become this endless loop of magpie nagging. There is no way I'd do that to him.

So it's possible AMC could be it for you forever?

Well, I don't think so. I'm more than happy to be here. "Happy" sounds so trite -- like something you'd say about a mint on your pillow. I am thrilled to be here. I get to work with great people. I'd like to work with Michael Knight more, and there are things storyline-wise I'd like to see happen, but those are just choices. I would like to try my hand at producing and directing. I know a lot of people say that. It's become very commonplace. But I really think I would be good at it because I understand the machinations. I understand what needs to be given to a crew. I know the tender things actors need, the things that'll help them feel supported.

Are you actually talking to the suits about this?

Actually, I haven't [agreed to] re-sign, even though we've been talking.

You came with a two-year contract -- has it been two years already?

It'll be two in August, if you can believe it! The time has flown. So we've been negotiating back and forth, and one of the first things I said was, "This doesn't have to be some big ol' deal, but during the course of this next [contract period], I would like to be given the chance to direct -- an episode, or some scenes or a screen test or something." And the guy in business affairs told me that no one, to his knowledge anyway, had ever asked for that, and he thought it would be cool and he'd go to the big suits and say, "What do you think?" And evidently the word came back that they would love to be able to give me that opportunity but they did not want to put it in writing because it would set precedent. Also, they said they were afraid of what would happen if I was better at that than at acting. They were afraid they might lose me. Well [laughs], I probably believe the first part more than I do the second. But it's awfully nice for them to say those things.

Sounds like a bunch of hooey to me.

Well, I do know John Loprieno had a deal with One Life to Live when they were really wooing him to stay.

What about James DePaiva? He directed, too, didn't he?

Maybe it was DePaiva I'm thinking of. I don't know. But maybe under our current regime, that just wouldn't be acceptable.

After that whole Guiding Light mess, how could you possibly work for Jill Farren Phelps if she took over AMC?

I have heard from [she names source but requests it be kept off the record] that she is definitely coming here.

Do you feel...?

[She interrupts.] A sense of fear.

I was going to say, do you feel what happened at GL could happen here? Over there you were new; at AMC you're firmly established. You are one of the ones who drives this show. It's hard to imagine that it could happen again. Now, feel free to be very careful how you respond to this: Your no-character, no-storyline situation at GL could have changed in a heartbeat if JFP had wanted it to change. She could have very easily ordered that you be moved to the front burner. The whole thing seemed very personal.

It was never going to be [front burner], and I knew that soon after I got there. I was a ticket. A tactic of negotiation. I was a game piece.

How so? So JFP could get A Martinez?

No, [so JFP could get] a new contract. "I'll bring this gun in and it'll change everything around."

I see. In other words, bringing in a superstar like you would help fix what was wrong with the show at the time.

But you know what? I'm not foolish to believe that there's only one person who does that -- everybody does it [in this business]. So I don't want to blame her for that, but I think that it was unfortunate that it was never remedied. When I heard that she might be coming here... I still have the greatest respect for her because I think she is one of the best, if not the best line producers I've ever worked with. In terms of a line producer capacity, she's brilliant.

Yeah, but you can damn well bet that if she came to this show, it wouldn't be as a line producer. She'd be the big cheese. The exec producer, baby!

I don't know even to this day what exactly the description of an executive producer is, but I know when I feel like somebody does it well.

Back to my earlier question, isn't the GL situation less likely to happen at AMC because of what you've established? You're really entrenched here -- not just for the last two years but historically.

Some people's tactic is that they can't work with what's on the canvas. So I can only hope that if things do change here and somebody [new] does come in, maybe, like you said, I have rooted myself so much that they can put me down a different path and I'll still be who I am. Maybe I won't be mutilated to the point where I would become a nothing. Liza is too strong to become a nothing. And it certainly would be very obvious if that started to happen. During these two years at AMC, I've been given the chance to do what I've wanted to do all along, to work. I don't have to be tap dancing out in front all by myself. I just want to do good work with talented people. But if that changed because of any shift that happened here [she chooses her words carefully]... I would just be traumatized. It would be the thing that would make me extremely sad and angry. It would be the thing that would drive me from this medium.

Did you see yourself on A Daytime to Remember?

Yeah, I did.

Well, for years you've told me you didn't know what you were doing in those early days -- that you were just young and raw and floundering. But I saw you on ADTR and said to myself, "That child knows exactly what she's doing!"

[Laughs.] I was surprised, too!

Girl, you are foolin' nobody!

It's funny you would say that. It's hard to view your own work. But I watched those reruns with Liza and Tad, and looked in my 18-year-old eyes and I saw truly honest work. It made me think, "OK, Marcy, don't underestimate what God gave you. What you have didn't just spring up out of nowhere. Even at 18, there was an honest quality to your work -- give yourself that compliment." I look back on it, and let me tell ya, some of those scenes weren't bad. The fashion's a little off, but...

There was also a real sense of you people flying by the seat of your pants. There was a wild abandon to the work, an electricity that seems to be missing today.

Yes! There was this totally crackling energy in everything everyone did. It's missing now because we've gotten into writing 46 slow minutes of daytime every day. Back then, I don't ever remember doing six- or eight-page scenes like we do now. You have to arc a scene much more slowly when you have that much dialogue. You can't just hit the wall and keep screaming for eight straight pages. You wind up having to do a slow volley. Back then, we did three-page scenes, which meant you had to hit fast and hard. We don't do that anymore. Also, the storylines then were very character-driven. We're now more incident-driven, and we do a lot of recapping. Everyone becomes extremely dry. You just wind up posing an attitude. You vogue your way through scenes. You know what you said about flying by the seat of your pants? Santa Barbara had a lot of that. No one really knew where we were going, and there was really nothing to lose. Your ass was always on fire. There is a stagnation, a plodding thing about the medium now that comes from a sense of security -- a security that's also the reason we love it. In soaps, you can play a character for seven or eight years, and if you do it long enough, you become secure that your character -- like some astrological body -- will rise up twice a year in a big way and then disappear. And that makes you just sail -- that's the problem right there. How can you fly by the seat of your pants if you are comfortable? It's just not gonna happen.

And you can't fly that way alone. Doesn't it have to be a communal thing? You can't do it if your costars aren't.

I don't know about that. Justin Deas does. He flies by the seat of his pants, and has his ass on fire every day of the week and it doesn't matter if everyone is along for the ride.

Yeah, but that can also come off as self-indulgence. If you're not in synch with your partner, it gets off balance. On those Daytime to Remember episodes, everybody seemed to be in it together, everybody was carried by the same energy -- and that's what makes you pay attention. It's like when you're channel-surfing and you accidentally click on one of those Mexican soap operas that look cheap and tacky and horrible but you are forced to stop and check 'em out because they are riveting. They are wild and scary and weird and electric and you absolutely must stop and watch!

Have you noticed that there seems to be a lot more turnover in the higher echelons of daytime? It seems some shows change executive producers and head writers every year or sometimes a few times a year. And there's a trickle-down factor that creates a ripple of fear among the actors. Is the new boss going to fire me? Will he or she find me uninteresting? But if you'll notice during those times, everybody's work gets a lot more focused. It's a little more out there. The fear brings a transfusion of energy.

 Why didn't this industry learn a lesson from the success of Cruz and Eden, a happy, married couple who remained interesting for years? All too often, we hear that old "Marriage on soaps is the kiss of death" baloney. Everybody seems to buy into it -- and it cripples the storytelling. True, you and A Martinez did have a couple of plot twists thrown your way that kinda made one puke, but generally speaking, you went for years as a love team with great dignity and riveting, highly romantic story. You proved it's possible -- so why no copycats?

People want to clone the shows that have the hot numbers. It's all about ratings. ER is hot, so we see every network try a medical show. But they don't look beyond the ratings to identify and understand a hit show's real appeal. They don't open it up, they don't look for the dynamics that make the audience watch. Maybe it's not the setting. Maybe it's the actors or the relationships or the tone and style of the writing or the lighting, or maybe it's the intimacy of the camera work. I used to love watching thirtysomething, just because it felt like I was sitting there with them. I know a lot of people who hated that show, but I felt it was just for me. I felt like I was listening to private conversations. And that's what SB did with Cruz and Eden, but I'll be damned if anybody went off and tried to replicate it -- they didn't see that as a dynamic that people wanted, because the numbers weren't great.

What's going on romantically with you in real life? Are you still with that guy?

Yeah, Robert Primrose. We've been together for over four years.

What does he do again?

He's a sound man. He does Spin City. So in a way we're both Disney employees.

So it's going good?

It's going great.

So how come you haven't gotten married?

I did. Three years ago.

You did? Three years ago? Am I out of the loop here? How come I haven't read about this?

I haven't really talked much to [the press] for a very, very long time. I've always found it pretty boring to see people on talk shows or in magazines who really don't have anything to say but they keep parading themselves anyway. I've clammed up for a very long time because, well, what am I going to talk about -- the fact that I have nothing to say?

Did you keep a lid on this marriage because your past marriages and romances were too heavily reported?

No. I'm OK with that. I've made my mistakes and I've learned from them. I don't think I made good choices. I never knew what I was doing. I didn't have a capacity for honesty or fairness or even a sense of perspective in a relationship. I got involved with boyfriends way too early. It went too fast. I was just too ready to dive right in. No one ever educated me to go slowly. I was always at breakneck speed. Because I've considered myself to be one of the many thoroughbreds in this business, I felt I had to run at that same clip in my personal life. But you can't run when you don't know how to crawl.

On the subject of your many romances, Bronson Pinchot recently told Movieline magazine that you broke up with him by leaving his engagement ring on his windshield wiper. Sounded kinda cold, Miss Marcy! Will you respond to this on the record?

Well... yeah. When I broke it off, he left this box of clothes on my doorstep with every sock and every pair of underwear that I'd ever bought him, every scrapbook thing, every napkin, anything that [reminded him of our relationship] was placed in a big box with this note. He asked me to give back his ring. But he didn't want to see me again. I didn't know where he was staying but I saw his car, so I left the ring with a note on his car.

How do you feel about him sharing it with the press?

Well, he never did share it with the press. This happened in 1983, '84. He never said anything about it before. I can't believe he'd say it all these years later. He must be pretty comfortable with his success to come pickin' on me. Because, the fact is, I love Bronson. I think he's an incredibly talented man. Very, very funny. And I'm very sorry if I broke his heart. [At that point] even I had gotten to the age where I knew that some things were fantasies and some things weren't. [Our relationship] was never to be real. And he knows that. He was living with me in L.A. when he auditioned for Beverly Hills Cop. I'm the one who told him to use the accent of the makeup artist we had when we made the movie Hot Resort -- Lily was her name. I just can't believe all these years later that he came back to pick on me. I guess I'm sort of an easy target.

You mentioned being a thoroughbred. How do you feel when you see one come on AMC? Kim Zimmer, bless her heart, recently admitted in one of my Q&As that she's very jealous of Cynthia Watros and all the attention she's getting.

If you're a thoroughbred, and there are a lot of them in this medium, and you see Secretariat come along -- someone who's gorgeous and a great actress -- it can push a lot of buttons. But, hopefully, you can get past that and feel lucky that you've got someone to work with who can stride at the same great distances that you can. It's hard to get past the physical beauty sometimes, but hopefully you have enough grace inside of you to sit back and be thrilled.

And it could be worse.

There's nothing like working with someone who's slower than you are -- or running in the opposite direction.

Do any of the young ones in soaps remind you of you when you were just starting out?

The young people now are not as young, as raw, as we were back then. I was 17 when I started acting. I look at the really great young actresses -- like the young girl from General Hospital, Kimberly McCullough -- and see a poise, a graciousness I know I didn't have. I was very naive, very lost, and I haven't quite found anyone in this industry that was that young, plucked out of the middle of nowhere. Vince Poletto [AMC's Tanner] was close, because he truly was completely lost. He was in great fear all the time. He didn't know what hit him. He was the closest I've seen to my own situation. I really felt bad for him because I knew that fear he was feeling, that horrible fear that will paralyze you the minute you get to the soundstage. He had dry mouth. He was filled with questions but he could never ask them, and that's a terrible place to be.

Nowadays, everything in the soap world is reported to death -- and beyond. That wasn't the case when you were starting out. Would that additional pressure have made it even more difficult for you?

I got to see that whole media thing through the eyes of Larry Lau and Kim Delaney, because they were the huge hot couple here. I was just the one on the outside who created all the manipulations. And I remember them doing photo session after photo session, interview after interview. They were just splashed everywhere and they used to really dig it -- and I remember feeling very envious because I wasn't a heroine, I wasn't someone everybody loved. Everybody hated me. They weren't asking for pictorials of fun little days in the park with me! And being as young as I was, it hurt that no one liked me.

Did you use that in playing Liza?

I'm sure I did. It really hurt that I didn't feel acknowledged. Then I remember that third year when I got nominated for an Emmy, and none of them did [she lets out a wicked, Cruella DeVil-type laugh]. Ah, redemption is mine!

Back then there were no Emmy categories for young actors, and the nominations usually went to the old pros, the big stars, so it was rather cheeky for a young one like you to be honored.

It was a big deal. Even then I knew that. All those feelings of not belonging, all that envy didn't matter after I was nominated because what really mattered was what my peers had said about my work -- that it was excellent. Getting nominated told me that all the things I thought the business was about wasn't really what it was about. It was about the work. And I've always carried that with me.

You were the leading lady of Santa Barbara. On AMC, Susan Lucci is clearly queen. Do you miss being No. 1?

No. I miss A [Martinez]. I know that we were the No. 1 focus all those years. People really loved that couple, we had volumes of good stories, we were the first two anyone wanted to photograph. I know all that to be true. But if you sifted it all down, the most precious part wasn't the recognition, the magazine covers, the Emmy, it was what I got to do every day with A. I could be in the No. 1 spot at AMC, and it wouldn't be as magical and precious or as satisfying. Susan is the foundation of this show, and nobody thinks differently. That's not my place, and I'm happy that's not my place. I had that, and I had it where I was supposed to have it.

Would you be nervous about a reunion with A? Expectations would be very high.

It always made me a little nervous. It was nerve-racking because it was... perfect. I think it would be scary at first, but then it would be right. Like a big hug from a relative you hadn't seen in a really long time. I have to tell you that it kinda rubbed me the wrong way that he went to work on Profiler with another Walker.

Huh? You're kidding, right?

I know it sounds silly. I read articles that said "Martinez to join Walker on Profiler" and I know that people assumed it was A Martinez and Marcy Walker, not Ally Walker. What does NBC do? Walker-Martinez, Martinez-Walker. Now, I love Ally, and Ally knows I love Ally. I'm a big fan of hers -- we were on SB together -- and I was thrilled for A that he was back at the network [that aired SB]. But it really rubbed me the wrong way.

Are you saying NBC intentionally tried to fool the fans?

I don't know. Maybe. I'd only be hypothesizing but, who knows? Maybe. I thought, "Wait a minute. If anybody is gonna cash in on this, it should be us!" A was on one of those talk shows where they have some surprise guest call in -- which was me -- and I nailed him on it. [She laughs.] I said, "What are you doing working with that other Walker?"

Last question. Emmys. Many were surprised you didn't get nominated this year.

Why do you think that is?

Why do I think you didn't get nominated?


I don't know. I can never make any damn sense out of the Emmy nominations, and it's foolish to try. My question is this: Even though you have already won one, is it important for you to keep winning? Does an actress need that validation every five or six years to keep reminding the audience and the industry that she is still a contender?

It would be nice to be able to do that. I don't know if the Powers That Be consider Emmys evidence that you're the best of the best. Louise Sorel has never won an Emmy -- never been nominated -- and you would never discount her value, because she's brilliant, she's a miracle. Then there are people who've won Emmys because maybe they had one good year. So if the people who hire and fire think the Emmy is important, then, yeah, it's important to win one every few years. As the years go by, I see the same people being nominated, the same group every single year, and it becomes like an old boys' club. They may be the best of the best, but do they have the work this year?

So did it bother you not to be nominated?

No. I would love to be nominated again. But I think it maybe takes time for people to know what kind of work you do. I haven't done a lot of press. Maybe it's the press that gets you the nomination.

Yeah, like that publicity whore Justin Deas?

Well, I guess that busts that theory! I would love to be nominated again, to be in the running and win for this character. When Disney bought ABC/CapCities a year or so ago, the first thing you wanted to do was come out and do your little dance and show how worthwhile you are. You want to let those people know they're not paying you these big sums of money to be going, "Uh, can I have a different purse? Liza wouldn't use this one." You want them to know the audience likes you, regardless of your age, but especially when you get older and start to get pushed into those kinds of stories where you become somebody's mother. You need to remain vital. You need to be validated. You need the Emmys, or at least to be nominated for them. I saw Jess Walton after the Emmys. It mattered to her to win that. I was thrilled for her. There was that look of relief on her face, the look that says "Look what everybody said to me tonight! All the work I've done for all these years has accounted for something!" We want to be told that we're loved and cherished and valuable -- no matter what age we are. I would like to win an Emmy for playing Liza. My other one's getting a little tarnished.

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